When learning to communicate in a new language and a new culture, it takes more than just learning the vocabulary, you must also learn the cultural nuances of communication to make sure you’re actually saying what you mean.

Jeff and Mia live in Central Asia with their three children and have jumped right into learning the local language. Each of them has a language helper who comes over four days a week, and they try to get out and practice in public as much as possible. Since two of their kids are enrolled in local schools, this also gives Mia and Jeff many opportunities to practice language with the teachers and other parents. Both of them have excelled in their language learning, memorizing the vocabulary and grammar very quickly.

Learning more of the slang phrases or cultural distinctions in communication, often take a little longer, however. Most of the time, these are things you learn to navigate as you encounter them. For example, Jeff needed to purchase a new phone, but the store didn’t have the model he wanted so the clerk told him, “Come back in two days.” He came back two days later, they still didn’t have it, and told him the same thing. So, he waited two more days then went back to the store to find they still didn’t have the phone he was looking for! That day, he asked his language helper about it, and he told Jeff that in this case the phrase doesn’t literally mean two days- when people say that, they mean “not today or tomorrow”, usually indicating that the speaker is unsure of the exact time. At first, Jeff was frustrated that they would keep telling him to come when they didn’t have what he was looking for, but then he realized that he was just not understanding what they actually meant and now can remember this in future communication.

Similarly, Mia was having a problem with their children’s language helper and was unsure of the correct way to address it. The children’s tutor would often bring her daughter along with her to the house, which was very disruptive to the lessons. In the local culture, confrontation can be very embarrassing for the other person, so it is avoided at all costs. Mia certainly didn’t want to embarrass their tutor, but she wanted the situation resolved. So, she consulted with some of her friends who were also foreigners, but had been living in the area longer. They suggested she tell the tutor that she understood it was hard for her to bring her daughter all the way to class, so she should feel free to cancel if she needs to stay with her. The message was received, and the tutor stopped bringing her daughter to lessons after that.

This way of “dropping hints” can seem ineffective to our cultural mindset, but that is one of the many adjustments our families must make as they attempt to adopt the culture of the people group they’re trying to reach. Humbling ourselves in this way, and making the effort to communicate clearly to people is a very important part of the work we do.

Pray for Jeff & Mia, and our other families, that they would learn to navigate cultural differences in communication gracefully and effectively, for the sake of the Gospel.

*Names and places changed for security purposes.